Okay…. I’ve tried watching the cape. Hell, in honor of Conan O’Brien, I’ve watched it THRICE! And I’ve come to a conclusion. NBC needs to stop trying to capitalize on the superhero genre. We got one halfway decent season of Heroes followed by three seasons of crap, and we got three episodes of The Cape that actually made me miss even the worst that Heroes had to give us. Jesus Christ, just let it go, NBC! You can’t make a good superhero show to save your life. Just stick to comedies and let other networks handle the drama. Because your Monday night line-up looks like this: Chuck–awesome. The Cape–turrets inducing. Harry’s Law–um, kind of funny but might be better if it immediately followed Chuck instead of The Crepe. Wait, that’s a thin pancake. Pun fail. The Crepe’? I’ll figure it out. But if they just had something else in that prime nine o’clock spot that, I don’t know, didn’t suck horrible balls? That would be great. The Cape is bad on many levels, but let’s discuss the obvious problem first. How has DC not called NBC offices with the simple question of “really? I mean…. really?” KILLER CROC IS ONE OF THE VILLAINS! How did they actually get away with that? Is it because he’s British? Did casting Vinnie Jones somehow excuse them of plagiarism? But it’s not just Batman. It’s not just that they have an Oracle with full use of her lower extremities. The cape itself isn’t even that original, as we learned in the second episode–it can stretch and bend and it can cause the person who wears it to become angry and brooding. Holy crap, it’s Spider-Man 3. If only he could do his hair emo style with dramatic music! And let’s face it, they basically said “well, Batman’s story is too sad and so is the Punisher’s.”
Forget the lack of originality. Heroes had that problem even when it was good. The Cape ‘s writing is horrendous. If people aren’t monologuing and threatening to kill someone while never actually pulling the trigger (such as the ridiculous exchange between Scales and Chess…worst villains ever), then the plot points go by so quickly that by the time you read one of the tweets by Nate Cosby (NateCosBOOM)–the only thing enjoyable about this show–you complete miss them. The dialog is so awful…. I don’t want to talk about it. It hurts my feelings. So I’ll talk about the acting, or lack there of. There are good actors in this show. Keith David, in the first episode, seemed like the only actor who was having a good time. By the third episode, he just couldn’t give two hams. The main guy, David Lyons, has about as much emotion as…well, as a black cape. Vinnie Jones, James Frain, even that little fucker Ryan Wynott. I don’t care if you’re ten–that is not acceptable! Dakota Fanning was half your age when she was out-acting Tom Cruise, you little shit. And, wait, is your name Wynott? Like Why not? Well, why not take some acting lessons? At least we have Summer Glau. Oh, she completely phones it in too, but damn is she nice to look at.
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Filed under: Other, Reviews | Tagged: James Frain, Keith David, Ryan Wynott, Summer Glau, The Cape, The Cape episode 3, The Cape episode reviews, The Cape review, The Cape tv series, Vinnie Jones | 7 Comments »
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