John Carter: The Gods of Mars #5 – Review

By: Sam Humphries (story), Ramón Pérez (art), Jordie Bellaire (colors)

The Story: Poor John Carter just can’t manage to keep his wife for long, can he?

The Review: You know one thing the old-timey storytellers knew how to do really well that modern ones either avoid or screw up?  They knew how to bring their heroes to the brink of a happy ending, then wrench it away in the most heartrending way possible.  It’s a very melodramatic fictional tactic, one that can easily go too far awry, but done right, it packs an emotional wallop.  Don’t tell me you saw the ending of Casino Royale without feeling for Bond.

Considering the corny—but tasteful—quality of this mini, you would’ve thought an ending where Carter and Dejah reunite and Issus goes down for good, leaving Barsoom in the light of a new era of pace, was inevitable.  But when—spoiler alert—the issue ends and none of those things happen, it leaves you in disbelief and sympathy for our hero.  This series has been calling out your inner child and it’s with a child’s disappointment that you go through the conclusion.  It’s as if you’re re-experiencing a bittersweet ending for the first time.

John Carter: The Gods of Mars #4 – Review

By: Sam Humphries (story), Ramón Pérez (art), Jordie Bellaire (colors)

The Story: This–is–Barsooooom!

The Review: As I explained to Jim in the comments to my review of The Avengers, I like to review and grade everything on this site according to what legal minds call a “partially individualized” test.  It means while I do make a big effort to be as objective as possible, I also give some weight to what the creators’ intent.  It doesn’t really make sense to evaluate, for example, a cartoon on Nickelodian in the same way I do for a literary masterwork.

So when it comes to a pulpy piece of sci-fi, I definitely offer a lot more leeway for cliché and silliness than I would with almost every other genre.  Obviously, the intention with these things isn’t to create some radical new form of storytelling; all these stories really want to do is provide an entertaining diversion that’s almost comforting in the way it relies on classical conventions.

John Carter: The Gods of Mars #2 – Review

By: Sam Humphries (story), Ramón Pérez (art), Jordie Bellaire (colors)

The Story: Whoever wrote the gospels on Barsoom clearly didn’t do his research.

The Review: Among the many plot elements John Carter sort of threw out there, yet never felt the need to elaborate upon, was the exposure of the Therns as false gods.  So much of Barsoom’s culture revolves around these mysterious figures that such a revelation should have made much more of an impact, but it came off as little more than a vaguely interesting plot twist.  If the producers expected a couple sequels to develop the storyline, they may be very disappointed.

So it’s left to this miniseries to reveal how Barsoom will deal with their whole spiritual dogma getting turned on its head and inside-out.  And by “Barsoom” I mean the planet as a whole, since this issue reveals that pretty much every single race has the wool pulled over their eyes.  Just as the Therns hold themselves out as “a holy race” and prey upon the common Martians and Tharks, the Black Pirates of Omean consider themselves “the first born” and prey on the Therns in the name of Issus—who just so happens to be the same divinity the Therns claim to act for.