Legion of Super-Heroes #13 – Review

By: Paul Levitz (writer), Yildiray Cinar & Jonathan Glapion (artists), Hi-Fi (colorist)

The Story: Geez, Saturn Queen–someone took her total jag pill this morning.

The Review: One of the major weaknesses of this story arc so far—and frankly, there have been many—is how much we still don’t know about this mysterious benefactor-guide of Saturn Queen’s, especially since he/she/it has got her planet-hopping all over the place trying to find these three ancient worlds for some reason or other.  The lack of a clear goal for our villains definitely makes the stakes for the Legionnaires all that less interesting.

This issue we actually get some face-time with the “blue flame” entity, a little blue dude in a kind of alien kilt-skirt, just about the cutest fella to ever dream of senseless galactic chaos.  Considering the fairly enormous scale of Saturn Queen’s mission, you’d think the reveal of her mission-giver would have a similarly enormous impact, but he doesn’t.  You get a face to this enemy, but that’s about it.

Despite all his grandstanding (“…my dreams over the endless centuries of exile shall be fulfilled…”), you really learn nothing about his goals.  Several issues into the story arc, we still don’t know what the big plan is here, other than a vague desire to destroy “galactic civilization” (the United Planets, I’m assuming).  Considering how many times the Legion has defeated that ambition from villains with far more threatening appearances, we’ve no reason to believe this time will be any different.

One new wrinkle involves Saturn Queen’s offer to have Earth Man join her team in exchange for having his way with Earth when she and Blue Flame Dude destroy all order, or whatever.  If this testing of our favorite xenophobe sheds light on how he switched loyalties to the Legion in the first place, or at least how he and Shadow Lass hooked up, then it’ll be worthwhile.  But since almost every Legionnaire expects him to backstab them at some point anyway, his possible betrayal doesn’t have all that much tension.

And each time you think you’re on the verge of finally learning something about Harmonia Li, you get instead more highbrow vagaries (“There are consequences more important than his life, or yours…”) and a scene-cut.  It’s really reached the point where you can’t bring yourself to care anymore; whatever her significance to this title, it can’t possible merit thirteen issues of guest appearances, only to dance around the subject at hand.

The Legion of Super-Heroes #12 – Review

By: Paul Levitz (writer), Yildiray Cinar & Jonathan Glapion (artists), Hi-Fi (colorist)

The Story: An egomaniacal, power-hungry diva gets a massive boost in telepathy and decides she’s queen of the universe—what are the odds?

The Review: The Legion is such a sprawling team with such a wide scope of influence—basically the entire galaxy and perhaps beyond—that their potential mission load can be quite infinite.  On the same count, it’s very easy to spread them too thin without ever giving them anything worth following.  Unfortunately, that seems to be the case with Levitz’s current run on this title.

Remember in my review of last issue when I thought Levitz was finally on the verge of following up on Harmonia Li’s nigh-forgotten storyline?  Remember how she suddenly appeared in Brainiac’s lab out of nowhere and delivered a particularly foreboding cliffhanger: “This is all my fault”?  Well, it turns out Brainy’s going to let that one pass and we get to wait until the next issue—if we’re lucky—to see if that plot goes anywhere, or at least wraps up gracefully.

Levitz chooses to bring us back to Saturn Queen’s quest for three planets of cosmic influence, which honestly still doesn’t quite feel very high-stakes.  No case has been made on how integral these planets are to the universe’s well-being (considering the Rock of Eternity was reduced to rubble and no seems to have noticed).  You’re also not inclined to take the whole deal very seriously since you have no idea what S-Queen’s after—or what will happen if/when she gets it.

This issue features more of the same stuff we’ve been getting for a while: a duo or trio of Legionnaires duking it out with the baddie du jour.  These fights would be more exciting if there weren’t so many of them squeezed into one issue, limiting each battle to a couple pages each.  Levitz doesn’t make the most of them either, as the team hardly ever uses their powers very creatively (Colossal Boy especially—this is the second time in a row he’s been KO’d within four panels of the fight just starting).

The Legion of Super-Heroes #11 – Review

By: Paul Levitz (writer), Daniel HDR & Wayne Faucher (artists), Hi-Fi (colorist)

The Story: It’s like playing Where’s Waldo?, only with several dozen super-powered criminals across interplanetary space.  That’s fun, right?

The Review: It’s a common issue in comics that once you take a step back from the flashy action sequences and charged emotional scenes, you realize there’s really nothing happening beneath it all.  There’s nothing inherently wrong with the decompressed story arc, but unless the writer can pack each issue with enough compelling material to make it worthwhile, the whole thing can seem like a needlessly dragged out plot.

If you read Legion of Super-Villains, you quickly realize Saturn Queen is not only in complete control, but she also has all the answers to their long-term plans and goals.  Essentially, she’s the only villain we’re interested in, since all her subordinates act only to serve her.  That leaves little depth or motivation to the goons the Legion tackles in this issue; their only purpose seems to be vying with each other to gain Saturn Queen’s favor, and there’s little fun in that.

With such narrow-minded minions, it’s no wonder they come across so goofy—take Sun Emperor’s confrontation with Timber Wolf: “One dead Legionnaire will surely put me back in the queen’s good graces…two or three would be a surfeit of offerings!”

The Legionnaires don’t fare much better, since their action dialogue still induces uncontrollable cringing from you.  It’s as if Levitz feels they have to banter, so he injects these silly, forced riffs while they’re in action: “Now let the boys collect them.”  “Let’s not be sexist—that’s centuries out of style.”  “They didn’t mean anything, Ayla.”  “It’s called teamwork.  Get over it.”  When they act this nonchalant, it’s hard to take their battles seriously.

Legion of Super-Heroes #9 – Review

By: Paul Levitz (writer), Yildiray Cinar & Wayne Faucher (artists), Hi-Fi (colorist)

The Story: Brainiac 5 and Chameleon Boy hit up Durla for some new leads to the assassinations on the United Planets Council, while Tyroc and Timber Wolf try to prevent more deaths.

The Review: The Legion’s massive cast tends to pose a lot of difficulties for writers.  For one thing, it takes a lot of effort to give each Legionnaire a fair chance in the spotlight.  For another, keeping track of all their different personalities and backgrounds in the context of whatever storyline they’re caught up in can be a taxing juggling act.  Then there’s the obstacle of dreaming up a mission/opponent big enough to challenge for the two dozen or so members.

Paul Levitz has the expertise to handle all three of these problems, but he doesn’t do so with much inspiration.  This Durlan plot to assassinate the UP council just doesn’t have much teeth to it.  Some of the missing bite comes from how unthreatening the assassins have been portrayed so far.  They’re quite lousy at assassinating people; across three issues, they’ve only managed to kill off two individuals, one of which had almost no importance attached whatsoever.  If there’s a bigger mastermind behind all this, let’s hope he or she (or it—we’re dealing with Durlans here, after all) shows up soon, because the henchmen aren’t really selling.

There’s little reason to hope more formidable opponents will pop up anytime soon, considering the sluggish pace Legion has now.  By the end of the issue, all you’re left looking forward to is a visit to Chameleon Boy’s aunt, who may or may not be directly or indirectly connected to the Durlan conspiracy.  That’s the kind of stakes the Legion deals with now.  Like Timber Wolf says, “We’re Legionnaires—not nursemaids!”  Quite right—shouldn’t they be out preventing galactic war, or trying to stop an invasive species of hyper-flies from eating the time-space continuum, instead of mostly waiting around for an opportunity to thwart some raging shapeshifters for the umpteenth time?

The Legion Of Super-Heroes #1 – Review

By: Paul Levitz (writer), Yildiray Cinar (penciller), Wayne Faucher (inker), Sal Cipriano (letterer)

Where DS is coming from: I’ve been a Legion fan since 1982, pulled in by the exuberant fun of the far future where thirty heroes on a team flew through space, fought alien invasions and captured super-villains.  What other team would show up in costumes and jet-packs ripped right out of the Jetsons?  Some Legion stories were cringe-worthy, but when they were in the zone, they were really good.  I followed them on and off for about ten years.  LSH #1 is my first real foray back into the 31rst century in about 20 yrs, and I’ve brought my baggage with me….

Where Alex is coming from: Given my long time adversity to teen, or “young,” heroes, only overcome relatively recently, I’m very new to the Legion.  I read, and enjoyed, Johns’ arc in Action Comics and read, and strongly disliked, half of Legion of 3 Worlds.  That being said, the concept of the team has always intrigued me, as does the unique corner of the DCU that they inhabit.  Given that “Superman and the Legion of Super-Heroes” feeds directly into this, I’m ready to go!

The Story: The Legion, target of a xenophobic movement, will be allowed to stay on Earth if they accept into their ranks the super-powered leader of the xenophobic movement itself.  Elsewhere, the Time Institute has been moved to Saturn Girl’s homeworld on Titan.  Problem is, these scientists want to look right back to the beginning of creation, just like Kronos did so long ago (recall the origin of the Anti-Monitor, Kward and so on – all described in Crisis on Infinite Earths).  The results are devastating for Titan and awaken something on the long-dead world of Oa, something that seeks out the xenophobic nut who has been offered a Legionnaire’s ring.

Alex’s take on LSH #1: Welcome back Paul Levitz.  The man proves that he isn’t just the perfect writer for the Legion, but an awesome writer period.  Some of what he accomplishes is truly remarkable.  Take, for instance, the ease with which he handles his large cast.  Each Legionnaire has a completely distinctive voice, making them feel relatable and fully realized. Every character comes across as an individual, each of them cool in their own way.

Final Crisis #6 – Review

By Grant Morrison (writer), JG Jones, Carlos Pacheco, Doug Mahnke, Marco Rudy, Chirstian Alamy, Jesus Merino (artists)

Honestly?  I love Grant Morrison’s work.  I admire his wild imagination and flair for telling chaotic stories that somehow always manage to make a strange kind of sense.  I loved The Invisibles, JLA, We3 and New X-Men, and even picked up his entire run on Seven Soldiers of Victory, a thematic prequel to Final Crisis.  I’m telling you this so you’ll know I’m not coming into this story cold.  I picked up every issue so far and followed the plot.  Sadly, I couldn’t care less for any of it.

And why should I, when DC has had a track record for over twenty years now of hitting the reset button with these massive storylines that promise to dazzle you with the illusion of change, only to be erased a few years later so that everything can be just the way it was before?  While I like the idea of Darkseid and his pantheon of Dark Gods gaining dominion over Earth, allowing the villains to finally win, I know things won’t stay this way long enough to make a difference, and if I know that then why bother reading?  Take this issue for example: do we really think the outcome of Batman’s battle with Darkseid is definitive?  How long before they reverse what they’ve done?

Also, why is it that these DC epics aren’t more friendly to new readers?  Why do they demand you to have a working knowledge of the last seventy years of DC continuity in order to understand them?!  Not only has Final Crisis not been friendly to new readers, it actively works to discourage and drive them away; seeking instead to cater only to those faithful elitists that have been reading DC comics for a long, long time.  The epic bullshit that Bendis writes for Marvel may be slightly shy of moronic, but at least his stories strive to be entertaining and accessible to new readers!

Ultimately, I can’t decide if Morrison is a victim of editorial slavery or an advocate of the bad storytelling DC has been pushing down our throats since Crisis on Infinite Earths. I can say with confidence though that this series was not meant for the casual reader.  It does not like you. In fact, it wants you to go away.

Grade: D-

-Tony Rakittke